I think im going to throw up on grandma
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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