I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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