Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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