So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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