I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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