Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
