Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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