can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
