it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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