I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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