This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I need mimosas to revive my soul
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
