I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
