its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
