and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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