Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
