I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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