New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
