dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
