Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
