I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my sisters under your porch take her home
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
