I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
