Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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