what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
