You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
