Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
