my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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