I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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