I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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