I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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