my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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