you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
