nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize