return my video game
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
either way he was missing a nipple.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
