Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You are a genius and a whore.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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