After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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