But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up under a house in Key West
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