i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
