Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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