take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
