i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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