i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize