When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
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& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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