Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
