you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
