it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
