I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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