One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
