Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
