I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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