Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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