Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
