Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
