i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its about making memories worth repressing
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
