i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
