I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
