she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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