weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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