he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
nutella sex= disaster
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
