Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i think i have two assholes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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