Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My bed smells like the plague
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
