During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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