Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize