I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
