I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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